


Depreciate

by RectifiedPear



Category: Sonic - Fandom, Sonic X, Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Sex, Asphyxiation, Bad Decisions, Bad Flirting, Blowjobs, Breathplay, Collar, Collars, Consent Play, Deepthroating, Dirty Talk, Enthusiastic Consent, I'm Bad At Summaries, Kinks, Kisses, Licks, M/M, Masochism, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple kinks, No Control, Painplay, Petplay, Relinquishing Control, Rough Sex, Sadism, Self-Hatred, Shadow's pretty Emotionless, Sonadow - Freeform, Sonic hates himself, Submission, Submissive, dark kinks, giving up control, invasive thoughts, letting someone else be in charge, self hate, self-hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-16 19:35:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10578090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RectifiedPear/pseuds/RectifiedPear
Summary: No one wanted to know the truth, no one would believe it. Amy or Tails, Shadow, even Knuckles could have dark terrible thoughts and speak about them and no one would care, but for Sonic himself to lie in bed with morbid imagery imagined and playing out in his head, that was just too much for them to believe.The hero would have no reason to chew his nails down to the quicks so badly he drew blood and hissed each time his gloves rubbed against the raw wounds. Their hero never had dark thoughts of wishing he had never gotten so well known and become a cure all.





	1. I'm Not What They Want

The midday sun was welcomed by all the busy mobians, dozens laughed and ran around, the beach was packed with all species, basking in the early summer sunlight which beamed down upon them all. Children laughed and grabbed kites and balls, running to play with friends and hoping to see people new and old during their one week of spring break.

The days got longer for Sonic. Months flew by for him, one rolling into the next, and carrying on as the seasons passed. He'd stopped running as much, kicking back in his house was far better. Less people needed him the more he stayed at home. The male hedgehog wasn't sure he would ever feel the spark to fight robots and sass his opponents again. He was still struggling with the inner darkness he hid with a grin and a finger wag. This darkness was soft and curled around his mind, nibbling at his thoughts every day. Small things most often, just small nudges inside his brain that told him maybe he shouldn't help that person, maybe he should stop for awhile. They could manage a day without bringing their problems to him. He was no fix all, if anything, he needed time to be alone and work things out. To fix himself for once instead of fixing someone else.

Of course it had failed. The first day Eggman had struck and everyone was at his door, Tails was giving him looks, Sonic knew he couldn't afford to have the fox pry into his emotional place in life at that moment, and had done everything single handedly before shoving everyone out with some excuse that he needed sleep. He didn't. That was a lie, Sonic had barely slept for weeks now, he slept here and there, but it was a fitful sleep, the kind that made the hero thrash and moan as he tangled himself in sheets, arms and quills slowly constricted until he'd wake up in a state of even more fright and cry out into the emptiness of his house. Sweat beaded upon his forehead, the cobalt male draped his legs over the bed and sighed.  
The second day was equally as eventful, only it was Knuckles who came to him this time, the Master Emerald had been snatched by Eggman, but turned out it had just been a ploy by Rouge and Eggman had been framed. She'd wanted the echidna's attention and after Knuckles gave it to her, she was choosing to stay on the island and try to get through his dense head that she meant positive attention not him swearing and yelling at her.  
Day three and four he'd refused to leave, told everyone he had a cold, but he believed in them to beat Egghead without him, and as he thought, they could. He wasn't as needed as they all believed. They just expected so much of him. They took and took and took, and they gave it back, food, chili dogs, gratitude, they'd erected a statue of him, all things he liked but didn't want or need. They were gifts so he took them, but he desired days off more, less needing for him more. . . find someone else to put your baggage on for them.

No one wanted to know the truth, no one would believe it. Amy or Tails, Shadow, even Knuckles could have dark terrible thoughts and speak about them and no one would care, but for Sonic himself to lie in bed with morbid imagery imagined and playing out in his head, that was just too much for them to believe.  
Theit hero would have no reason to chew his nails down to the quicks so badly he drew blood and hissed each time his gloves rubbed against the raw wounds. Their hero never had dark thoughts of wishing he had never gotten so well known and become a cure all. 

His fingers balled up, sheets being tugged into a tight strangle hold by both hands as he groaned. Was this what Shadow felt like all the time? If so he wanted to go find the ebony hedgehog, to grab him, sit him down, and ask how he dealt with all the thoughts. He rummaged through his memories, where was Shadow normally at? Then he remembered, Shadow was stopping by today. Not out of kindness, but to make sure he wasn't getting 'lazy and stupider'. If Shadow was coming to him he'd be there soon. The hedgehog had a tendency to appear around three in the evening, and now was two-fifty. He might show up early. Sonic thought, and something within him twisted into knots.

For the first time in a month he was feeling something, and what it was and who it was for made him upset. He wanted Shadow to listen to his feelings because he'd always wanted to understand how Shadow felt and if Shadow said Sonic was feeling how he'd felt then they'd have something in common. His crotch twitched. A sharp inhale followed. He'd been getting hard a lot lately. It was during terrible thoughts. Thoughts of Shadow killing him or him being dead and no longer having people come around. Sonic didn't want to die, but he also didn't want to be looked at, needed, and so in demand he couldn't breathe. His thoughts sounded suicidal as hell, but it was more like he'd allowed those thoughts a place within him, and the result had been a lot of boners. Boners which felt really good to touch and were likely the only brief passion he'd experienced in awhile. 

A knock came, rough and coarse. No waiting for him to open was given, instead Shadow opened the door and walked in. His ruby eyes narrowed at how messy everything was. "They said it would smell like someone died in here. No kidding, and surprisingly you're not dead from this stench." Sonic shrunk under the glare, hands in his lap to hide his sporadic boner until it went away.  
"How about you clean it up for me, faker?" His mouth twitched. Shadow's eyes narrowed, he huffed and sat down in a chair, ignoring the mess and the mess of a hedgehog that dwelled among it all. He grabbed one of Sonic's books, a red one titled "Blood and Glory" which Sonic briefly recalled was a bit cheesy, and much bloodier than he'd thought it would be, but quite good.

"You um, gonna ignore me now?"

Shadow crossed his legs. "Just until you clean up your mess. If you weren't acting so weird I'd have shoved your face in it and told you you're the most unclean hero I've ever laid eyes on."

Despite the throbbing he felt at such negative words being abraded against him, Sonic bolted up and moved as fast as he could. He scrubbed and tossed plastic into a bag, paper went into a box by the door. He returned to the bed, green eyes wide, legs crossed. "I cleaned it up."

"Hmph. No denial, no cocky retort. You sure you're the real Sonic?"

"Of course I am, look at me, I got speed, and I'm true blue, and. . . and," his pupils shrank, Shadow was leaning over him, hands touching Sonic's shoulders as he shoved him onto his back, "w-what are you doing, Shadow?"

Three seconds of eyeballing him passed before the reply came. "Amy and Tails said you're sick, sick or you're hiding something. You look fine to me." He huffed into the cobalt hedgehog's face. 

Sonic began to sweat, his tip was just barely brushing against Shadow's fur, a hard throbbing length of six inches was a mere twitch from leaving him in his own room, on his own bed, with a male who would kill him. Shadow would pull out that gun from his holster, and shove it in his mouth, cock the hammer. . . Sonic tilted his head back, face flushed. Why. Why was that imagery so fucking hot? He dripped, tiny clear droplets sticking to black fur. He was so busted. If not the gun then Shadow would grab his throat, apply pressure and-  
Hot pain seared across his cheek, pain in the shape of a hand formed across Sonic's right side. He cried out, both in distress and in amazement.

"Spill it, blue hedgehog. You're not sick, so why are you sulking around inside?" His eyes were boring holes into Sonic's sockets. If this was a fight for dominance he was already defeated. His lip quivered for awhile, then he looked down, between his legs. Shadow followed his gaze, and whe he saw the dripping boner and how damp his fur was, his eyebrows quirked upward in utter confusion. "The hell?" Hands grabbed Sonic's throat, shoving him down as Shadow's hips rested upon his gut. 

It was happening, Sonic was going to die, he'd fucked up. It wasn't the gun in his mouth like he'd been fantasizing, but being choked out. . . felt surprisingly good. He should have been gasping for air, should have been scrabbling and trying to wrench Shadow's hands off his throat. But he wasn't. Instead he was throbbing hard, both hands pushing Shadows against his neck more as he maintained eye contact. Arousal beyond comprehension, the lack of oxygen was making his brain feel a spike of a high. He let his head fall backwards, lips parting as the orgasm ripped through him right after he spoke. "Yes, kill me."

Shadow's pupils shrunk, he released his hold and punched Sonic in the gut. "Is that really why you're in here? You want to die or something? You're messed up, Sonic."

Mind in a haze, Sonic nodded. "Yes, insult me." He rolled onto his side and smiled. "Hit me and insult me. Tell me I'm a sick freak and then. . ." His stained stomach smeared into the sheets. "then mistreat me like the fallen hero I am." His penis attempted to harden again, unable to do more than twitch and go flaccid, he'd need several minutes to recover. He sobered for a second. "No, I don't want to die, I think I'm just aroused by these dark thoughts in my head."  
Eyes boring into him, Sonic lifted his flushed face to smile as best as he could manage. "I'm not as perfect as everyone makes me out to be. Does that make you feel good, Shadow? That the hedgehog they all say you should be more like lays in bed imagining himself being killed and gets boners?"

Shadow had to let this sink in. He'd watched his best friend die, fought aliens, lived in space, survived falling into Earth's atmosphere, this. . . wasn't much of a big deal in comparison to any of that really. "That's very weird, too weird for you. Doesn't surprise me somehow, you always struck me as a freak doing things in secret. You gay too?" Shadow knew enough from rouge to know what sexualities were, they were weird at first, he'd thought of identifying himself and what his was, but no one really made him feel anything for them. Closest he felt was his emotions of anger towards Sonic.

Sonic's eyes went full blown and wide. "Wha- no! I mean, why would I be?"

"You sure seemed turned on by what I was doing, Sonic. Alien DNA or not, I still have fully functioning male parts, which means you're gay, or attracted to me in some way."

"I-I." His chest began beating rapidly. "I don't know what I am. Maybe?" He shut his eyes and exhaled loudly. "I just know the idea of you putting your gun into my mouth and pushing it down my throat makes me feel so aroused, the sensation of you strangling me, that was orgasmic. I did orgasm! It was everything I imagined and more. I think of how being beaten would feel a lot, like being truly defeated and I-" His penis was back to half mast. "I get so turned on by the thoughts of terrible stuff." One eye opened, a nervous swallow. "That, that doesn't make me bad, does it?"

Hand pressed to his temple, Shadow massaged his head and shrugged. "No, Sonic. It's one of those kink things I read about in a book." He was a bit aroused at the thought of Sonic beneath him, being beaten by him. Something he'd wanted to do for so many years -kick Sonic's ass- was finally in his reach and the blue blur wanted it, he wouldn't struggle, and even if he struggled, he was in a weakened position and would be easy to overpower and consume.  
Maybe Shadow would grab the hedgehog by the back of his head and ram so far down his throat he'd get nothing but choked gurgles in response, maybe he would show Sonic all the kinds of pain that he'd learned to inflict on others. He was the ultimate lifeform, fucking someone up was easy, but when the target didn't fight or flee, it was even easier. Sonic's eyes were fully open now, he stared between Shadow's legs. The hedgehog's half hard erection was longer than his was, and a bit differently shaped. It bore many bulges, almost like a fox would have, but it was more the fact Shadow was staring off and getting hard in his house, after he'd confessed these things that had Sonic stunned.

"Shads?" The wind left his body, his face was buried in a pillow, Sonic felt one arm twisted painfully behind himself. "Ah, Shadow, what are you doing?"

"Sonic, if I show you things." His hand was on the back of the male's head. "If I do things to you, would you be okay? No matter what it is?"

Sonic's pulse throbbed its way into his tip, Shadow's warmth was draped over him. If he said yes he might die. If he said yes he might get bruises and cuts. If he said yes he'd be giving into the darkness. The darkness above him glared with red eyes that threatened to split his soul in half. Sonic allowed his face to be shoved into the pillow, breathing limited. He would never be able to take it back if he said no. One no and Shadow would likely back off, he might even leave. The heat in his pillow from his breath made him feel stuffy and squished. He could make it all stop, make Shadow go away with one word.  
Sonic lifted his head.  
"Yes." A breathy whine. "please destroy me, Shadow."


	2. I Decide

Destroy me. What a specific request, a request the ebony male could do, if not physically, mentally. Shadow could destroy anyone and anything save the quivering peach and blue mess beneath him as he grabbed Sonic by the throat and slammed him into the bedpost. Hard enough to bruise and wind him, but not enough force to actually destroy anything. He stepped on him some, nudging him onto his side before pushing his face down into a pillow knocked there from earlier. The cobalt male let himself be limp, body asking for more as he breathed in and out between injuries.  
Shadow could do anything, he paused.

"When you say destroy me, what's your limitations?"

A lapse of silence spanned all of thirty seconds as Sonic himself considered the question. Aroused, panting, longing for more, did he honestly have anything he didn't want done to him? Shadow wasn't going to go full SAW on him, so he had nothing come to his mind because death was sounding pleasant even if he didn't want to die, and the idea of Shadow doing most anything to him from beating him to beating himself off sounded just as good.  
A million possibilities flickered through Sonic's head, a million things that could be done to him, living or dead, flesh and blood, or as a corpse, and they all made him writhe and want for more.  
"None." Green eyes darted about before an almost sassy grin graced Sonic's lips. "Kill me, fuck me, fuck me up, destroy me." He wiped drool from his mouth and craned his head to eye Shadow entirely, mouth twitching. "I'm enjoying this."

"How much?" Shadow's fingers were in his mouth, pushing past teeth and toying with his tongue and throat, the male gasped, twitched, and tried to breath through his nose as his mouth was played with. Would it feel this good to do these things to Shadow? Would he ever feel good again? There were thoughts ricocheting through his mind as something replaced the fingers, the ebony hedgehogs hands gripped Sonic's quills, something hot and throbbing rubbed along his tongue, to the back of his mouth, and then mashed his gag reflex. Sonic went to cough, but one hand steadied him, tilting his head better and suddenly he was fine. Airway clear aside from the dick in his mouth, Sonic swallowed and licked nervously. He could fit all of it into his mouth, even if part of it went down his throat, but how big around it was made everything harder, his jaw hurt and he had no idea how this... action played out. He regretted not asking Rouge for far more lewder conversations, she could have taught him everything and he could have made this experience worth while and wholesome, as wholesome as having a dick down your throat by someone you had a death boner for could be.

Sensing the younger male's confusion, Shadow took matters into his own hands, he began to thrust into the male's mouth, hands still holding him in place and refusing to allow Sonic any space to budge. The wet noises that came as he'd pull out and push back in were very new. New, and arousing in many ways. Sonic struggles weren't very strong as he pulled his head back, ignoring the grip on his quills, he gasped and a hot searing heat rose along his cheeks as he felt salty drops of pre rolling along his tongue and down his throat.  
The clock ticked along to each buck and shove, deeper and deeper down his mouth. Sonic's air way grew sore, his jaw was burning pain, Shadow pulled out. "Not exactly your thing?" He could sense the male's uneasiness, but before Sonic could reply pressure was bearing down on his throat, he was gasping and wheezing, as all of Shadow's length was forced down his throat and the male's vision blurred. Darkness rimmed his vision before more pressure was applied and he blacked out.

 

Soft humming greeted his ears, as emerald eyes opened. Sonic coughed and sat upright. "Why'd you-" he jumbled the rest of his words up, a fluffy of emotions went across his face as the words 'why'd you' ended with stop and do that at the same time and sounded terribly idiotic coming from the speedy hero's mouth. 

Shadow wasn't looking at him, the male wasn't erect or hovering over him, almost as if none of it had happened, as if Sonic had not totally orgasmed and his vision gone white before it faded into black. Shadow's gaze ran over many books, books that Sonic himself wasn't even sure he owned. Some of them were open, and the stuff the hazy-headed male read from glances told him the ebony hedgehog was planning something.

"Are those Rouge's?"

Shadow shot him a look. "Most of these are Amy's actually. Romance novels and a few dirty secrets she didn't hand over to me, but I took from her after noticing her hiding them away." A roll of ruby red eyes. "The others are what Rouge suggested I buy."

"You bought porn?" He leaned to read over Shadow's shoulder, thunking loudly against the floor as he fell off the bed. "Ow!"

"It's more educational than the pictures make it look." A big broad page of nothing but words that made Sonic's face flush was nudged to him with a foot. When had Shadow removed his shoes? Sonic wondered. Orgasm denial, bondage, fancy words he couldn't even consider pronouncing. Asphyxiation stood out to him. Was that not as weird as he'd thought it? All these things appealed to him, Sonic had no idea why or how.

"Any known fetishes in there you like?" Shadow peered over the edge of his current book, eyes boring holes into Sonic's head.

"I-I." He swore, and Shadow's ears swiveled to face him now, the darker male looking intrigued. "Fu- hell if I know, Shadow. You want honesty. All this time I run instead of think, I hate thinking too much because stuff bothers me, so yeah, maybe I have weird fetishes and-" he scanned the books text- "kinks, but if I do, I hardly know what they are. Everything maybe?" A skeptical glance down the book. "Okay, not everything here, some of this is just beyond what I'd want, but many things here sound worth trying." 

The expression on Shadow's face was tense. He watched Sonic think before flipping the page. Peach lips parted, he could still taste the dick in his mouth, and it teased him now. "So, why did you stop?"

"The thought just occurred to me while doing things to you, I've waited so long to torture you, why do it all at once. I was so eager to rush into it and speed run ruining you, that I couldn't step back and think of savoring it." Another page turned, Shadow devoured the text, converting all of it to memory, he had been throat fucking the male when the realization had hit him, and he knew had he stopped Sonic would get fussy, but if he knocked him out then went shopping, things would be easier. Rouge's advice was pretty good given that he'd been vague as all hell about who and what he would be doing with so much information. She'd jokingly suggested he buy a collar for whoever he was going to torture, and Shadow had, but he wasn't going to tell Sonic that, not yet. He held out a notepad. "Start writing what interests you, make a list, because I want to destroy you slowly."

There it was, arousal hot and searing through Sonic. He was a fast enough reader, so he took the offered blank paper and pen, and sat down, eying the book. "Sure you don't want to just kill me and save yourself days of wasted time?" The fact Shadow was talking down to him and removing his control was amazing, Sonic's chest was full of fire and he longed to be used, stepped upon, and beaten like some pet and not some great hero above everything else.

"That would be too easy." He wanted limitations lined out, boundaries to poke at, what drove Sonic wild laid out before him to use to unravel the male piece by piece. His gaze shifted. The collar was tucked in a bag, Shadow's eyes lingered on it. If Sonic hated himself enough to be treated like a dog, then maybe he'd be a good boy later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come.


	3. Talk

Sonic worked his way down the list, thinking things through as best as his blood-depleted brain could. He put some down with stars scribbed beside them, and others with question marks as they sounded interesting but he was in the dark on whether he'd enjoy them or not outside of his headspace. 

"You know, I don't think I've never asked you how old you are before." He didn't like the fact such a thought hit him broadly between the eyes now.

"Much older than you, keep writing."

His cheeks flushed. "Like eighty years or something?" A cheeky smile made its way to his face.

"No." 

"Old enough to be my dad?" 

"Is that a kink of yours?" Shadow's turn to smile, and it was large, canines prominent, his smile was one of someone who could devour Sonic and leave nothing in his place. "Daddy kink, Sonic? Want your old man to do you, that how narcissistic you are?" The teeth glinted in the poor light of the house, and Sonic flipped the switch on so Shadow would appear less intimidating to him. 

The idea of Shadow being his dad made Sonic let out a dry heave, he coughed and shook his head. His father had been quite a good role model, and had raised him well, seeing Shadow as even remotely related to him made the blue blur. . . he heaved again, and was startled when a dark hand patted his back.

"That one's a no then." His darker half whispered. "It's okay."

"Why are you so calm about this? I've never seen you with anyone, you act like you're well versed and experienced." The male swallowed as he realized there was a dash of hurt in his voice. "You practice on Rouge or something?" 

The hand stroked his back longer, steadier. "No, though she offered. I listened to a lot of her big talks, read books." A nod to the one half finished in his other hand, which Sonic missed as his back was facing away. "Plus it's not like the aliens were all pure killing." A dark look graced his face. He'd been a traitor to them always, even if he allowed them to hurt others, there were lines that some would cross and those lines resulted in them getting offed by the ultimate lifeform himself in a rage. "I'm as experienced as you." 

"Are you gay?" 

Shadow huffed. "I'm part alien, blue hedgehog. I'm not sure what my sexuality is. I like random things, there's even been a few aliens that caught my eye, so you tell me."

Sonic lowered his gaze in thought. "Not gay just... Shadow." It sounded like a perfect fit for himself and for the dark male standing over him.   
It fit, Sonic had felt attraction to many females, a slight admiration of many males, and questioned whether he was gay or straight a lot, but Shadow, Shadow was real wholesome raw emotions and feelings. He felt everything within him get muddled and tied in knots over Shadow, but when it came to others he'd only felt attraction. Shadow was beyond attraction. Every word from the dark males lips were honey, sweet and alluring. Every motion made Sonic's body yearn for things he had no words to describe and was too dense to word properly out loud.   
"So are we still going to... like we almost did earlier?"

Shadow glanced at the list, which made the blue male try to hide his own writing. "Likely." He leaned against the male, inhaling his scent fully. If the male made a run for it as things progressed he would hunt him down.

"Fuck you're creepy." The blue male swore. But as Shadow bit his ear he hummed a different tune. "Sh-shads wh-"

"It's on the list." He pointed. 

"Oh." Sweet chaos Sonic was sweating now, if Shadow followed the list seriously, he'd never get a break. The teeth upon his ear ran up and down, chewing gently, but making him moan regardless. "Shit. Wait, what about you?"

"What about me?" 

"Do you have any- eep!" Shadows hands massaged his other ear, teeth grazing along the base of his ears. Shadow whispered softly into his ear, words and things that made Sonic's crotch throb. Filthy dirty things so vile and sinister that he had no idea what he could say in response as he felt scared to reply lest Shadow use his own desire to further Sonic's own. "If you like that." His face scrunched up. "If you really fucking like that." Shadow was against him more. "F-f-fuck." His arms were pulled behind his back. "Ahh," neck nibbles trailed up and down his throat, Shadow was teasing him so much, the blue blur didn't know if he could bear it.

"I'm going to humiliate you in front of all your friends, one by one, hedgehog." 

"Shadow- that's too fa- fuck." He gave into the kiss, head tilted back painfully, the searing heat flooding his body was amazing, he was being moved and pressed into the carpet as the older male pinned him down and began to plant feral bites along his throat and mouth instead of gentle kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still more planned.


	4. Kisses, Swearing, and Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this to be longer but I provide what I can, regardless of length.

Sonic's flustered pants and gasps were music to Shadow's ears. He could take the male there and then easily, the mewling male was putty in his hands from a few neck bites and kisses. If Sonic was this easy, Shadow would have no trouble with him at all. Their inexperience would make for many interesting situations. But he could feel Sonic toying with him.

"Is it the same for you, blue hedgehog?" He bit down on the male's windpipe. "Do you like it when I swear?" Heat flashed into Sonic's cheeks, he gasped and panted into the black and red hedgehog's mouth, gulping and gasping for air as he tried to find his logic and senses lost among the pain mingling with pleasure. He nodded a bit, voice muffled. The words fuck yes were smothered beneath peach lips on peach as Shadow ravaged Sonic's mouth.

Had they any clothes besides shoes and gloves, which were already discarded, they would have been naked regardless. Parts of Shadow rubbed against parts of Sonic and like friction heat built up inside both of them from how good the feelings were. "Chaos, I could screw you into this carpet until you're a blue smear." Shadow said huskily.

"Oh." Sonic tilted his head back, inhaling deeply when their sheaths rubbed against each other's. "Ohhhh. Shads, ple-" His eyes rolled into the back of his head, back arching. It felt amazing, so intense, he needed more, he mewled and arched to the onyx male. feeling skin rub skin and a dozen nerves set ablaze with passion and lust. Shadow was licking and nuzzling his neck now, teeth grooming the fur and tongue licking along the male's throat, Sonic knew his pulse was fast, not as fast as his running speed, but fast enough for Shadow's tongue to feel as it lapped along.

"What. . . " His mouth was covered by a dark hand, licks and nibbles running up and down his neck as the dark black hedgehog kneaded and played with his ears and throat. "Wha-" He murred into a kiss that wasn't some gentle smooch, but instead a battle between their mouths. Shadow was rough and fervent, he gave no ground, so Sonic left him little submission to take any. Sonic groaned loudly, hips bucking with want that he wouldn't get.

Shadow was holding his waist down and refusing to let him arch and buck against him throughout the kiss. He was yielding, but patience had never been Sonic's forte, and the blue blur wanted more, he wanted Shadow inside of him, all over him, he wanted Shadow to grab him by the neck and bend him over and-

"You can't even be patient for death," Shadow whispered jokingly. "You want me so badly you're laying here panting and moaning and wanting it all now, aren't you?" Sonic mentally yelled for the dark male to get out of his head.  
"We'll do this my way." He licked the male's stomach, ignoring the quivering erection that was staining most of Sonic's hips. The male groaned into each lick, bucked into every kiss, the slow torture was maddening.

"Fuck, fuck, fuuuck." Sonic swore, feeling each swear rewarded with the lightest of licks, he threw back his head, letting out several swears. As he swore and squirmed beneath the barrage of kisses, Shadow smiled against the male's peach stomach. 

It was amazingly sexual hearing Sonic swear and tantrum. The ultimate licked along the prominent erection, hearing a deep inhale followed by a very sharp 'fuck, Shadow, unf' as he whined and balled his fist. Another lick got another outcry and batch of not-so-creative swears. he bobbed his head, hearing a much more creative, and half muffled by moans, stream of swears. 'fucking tease i swear to chaos I'll kick your ass if you keep this up' became a dull purring and grumbling within Sonic's throat. Wordlessly he arched gently into the warm mouth, then groaned as he probed and explored the new experience.

Hands upon his hips pushed him down, warm mouth slipping away from his tip. "I can't handle this torture, Shadow." Sonic squirmed, pre cum dripping along his stomach. His balls were tight against his crotch, and he was a quiver with sensations. Every touch drove him wilder. "Why won't you fuck me already?" His tail wagged.  
Shadow paused, fully aroused himself. Had he just seen the other hedgehog's tail wagging? It wiggled a bit, then stopped, and he fought to rationalize such an...adorable motion happening from such an annoying male. 

He leaned over him, length prodding along Sonic's thigh. "If I screw you now, how hard do you think you'll scream?" His black-furred fingers ran along Sonic's chest, tugging at short blue fur before vanishing to tangle among his quills and tug the male's head back so he could kiss and bite his throat. "You really sure you want all of this to go all the way?" His shaft was against the male's peach stomach, rubbing lightly along pale fur.

"Yes, y-you do remember saying you could screw me into this carpet a bit ago?" His tail wagged again, a little blue wagging tail wiggling against Shadow's legs. "I want that." He bit his lip. "Even if it hurts."

"Even if it hurts?" His shadow echoed, red eyes lit up with a ferocity that held threats within the deep red orbs. 

Wiggling more, the male nodded. There were a myriad of dark thoughts in his head. Pained and screaming thoughts, ones of Shadow holding him down or smothering him with a pillow. He reached out feebly, and managed to catch the edge of the list he'd made. Two blue fingers spread open, pointing at different things he'd written down.  
"Even if you make it hurt intentionally." He felt his hips lifted up, and gasped softly as he was pulled into a brutal kiss which made his spine cry out at the angle. He didn't cry out, even as the male's mouth consumed his and began taking the wind out of his lungs.

There was a pause in the kiss, his body gasped for air during that pause, arching into the tugging getting more insistent upon his neck, Sonic groaned. Shadow's hands tugging harder at his quills, he felt something, Shadow's hands, slide around his neck. "You're quite a whiny bitch, Sonic." The hands were replaced by something warm and firm.


	5. Ferver

Sonic felt whatever it was around his neck neatly fit between his quills as Shadow gave a pull and he was forced to sit up, the male felt the heat spreading from his face to his loins as Shadow kissed and bit along his ears. He wanted this, he wanted it now. If he didn't move, didn't make a point to emphasize that he wanted this... Sonic began to move in Shadow's grasp, brain trying to comprehend how he was going to do this and exactly what he needed to do for this to happen. "Should I-" He rocked his hips and rolled over. Eagerly the hedgehog raised his rear upward, he heard Shadow stifle what sounded like a laugh. "Anything in your books about this stuff?" He eyed the carpet, curious about how he'd ended up here. Shadow mumbled something as he lightly petted Sonic's tail before Sonic's tail wagged oni ts own accord and the male began to think to himself while Shadow stared at his blue ass..

He was feeling more alive by the hour, and at this rate something was bound to shut down his fun, he knew how his life worked, how the odds were always against him having any time alone, or uninterupted. Tails and Knuckles wouldn't go another day without visiting. Sure he could let them catch him with Shadow like this but. . . Shadow wanted to humiliate him around his friends. Throbbing he whined. It would be hot, seeing them all looking at him beneath Shadow's grasp, the shame would be impossible to swallow, he might as well be deep throating all of the dark hedgehog's length he'd be choking so much on the shame. He groaned mentally, the imagery perfect and beautiful to him. He felt sick pleasure knotting in his stomach.

What kind of monster was he for wishing these images upon them all? For wishing his friend's and their lives and relationships with him to be flipped? Was he really hoping they'd see him, that they'd see him and realize he was never the hero they thought him to be? 

Amy... the thought jarred him from his own mind. Amy would blame Shadow or be so hurt she'd... she'd. He bit his lip. There was no denying that the idea of Amy seeing him on his knees, servicing the only hedgehog that could really keep up with him was hot. He knew that made him bad, he was terrible for sure. He was as bad as they'd all assumed Shadow was. He was the real bad hedgehog here, full of intrusive thoughts that helped him get off at night. He played with these thoughts, the imagery of them seeing him be screwed and hurt by Shadow, and him wanting more. Would they hate him? Would he be stripped of the hero title? Oh that would be great, no one needed Sonic The Hedgehog anymore, let someone else fight for him for a change. 

He arched into the fingers invading him. He groaned and whimpered against the feeling, it stung at the edges, but at its core, it was an amazing feeling. The sensations were so good they ripped him from his headspace and train of thought and had him quivering and panting. Here he'd been thinking of his friends walking in on them or catching them in the act, and Shadow was preparing him.

Preparing him to be fucked.

He shuddered and gave a soft cry of the dark male's name. A groan escaped him, his arms buckled, face smashing against the carpet as his rear remained upright. "How ma-" words were eluding him, breathing taking over, he barely managed to hear Shadow say four. This was what four fingers inside of him felt like? It was heaven. He'd never thought to do this to himself. Sure he'd considered some household objects but not this. His imagination wasn't often allowed to roam, he let his feet do that for him. Sonic let out a loud moan.

The moan became strangled as whatever was around his neck was pulled, this time it was against his throat, he was gulping in air shallowly, the ruby-eyed male was draped over him, chest touching Sonic's spine as he bit an ear. "If you can't handle this, let me know." He breathed, and before the squirming blue hedgehog could say something cocky, he shoved in.

A cry broke free from Sonic's mouth, pain, pleasure, surprise. He arched upward, almost bucking his doppelganger right off from him, but Shadow's reflexes were ready, one arm grabbed the collar around his neck and balled itself around the firm material, the other looped across Sonic's stomach and held him down. 

Each inch worked the male into a mess, he writhed and groaned, begging for Shadow to just shove the entire thing right into him. Take him, he wanted it so badly he was staining the carpet as black-furred hips slowly rolled against his. Oxygen supply half-way cut off, the male was feeling like every sense was heightened, every movement of Shadows was pleasure, every thrust or withdrawal was amazing and every time he pushed in to the hilt, it was his name that burst from the blue hero's mouth. 

In between the outcries of "Shadow" there was swearing, moaning, and panting. The male dared to push back into each thrust, arch into each tug on the collar, and cry out in loss each time Shadow pulled out entirely, only to cry out in blissful pleasure as Shadow rammed back into him using a speed that would bruise anyone else's hips but Sonic's. He felt hard bites along his shoulders and scratching running along the inside of his thighs as Shadow gripped him hard and fucked him even harder.

"You're so loud." The voice hissed against his neck.

"Y-you're s... so quiet."

He managed to retort, trying to hold in all this pleasure and memorize it. He wanted it engraved within him, a permanent memory he could revisit later. The carpet rubbing his wrists raw, the wet slaps as he was filled, the careful slow breaths the being he felt closest to made with each thrust. This was all he wanted in his memory. He could live a lifetime without chili dogs and doing heroic things if it just meant he could have this feeling in his life more.

He felt himself orgasming, mess staining the carpet as he took Shadow hard and deep once more, scent of sweat and their scents mixing. It ripped through him like a lightning bolt, hot, searing, and relentless as he laid there. He felt immeasurable passion. Shadow grunted something, his name, maybe? He felt the hot searing heat inside of him, and felt like he was both on fire and cold all at once as his body shook. He felt a dozen things all within minutes, his head and vision clouded from all of these feelings.

Sonic felt a reason to be alive.


	6. Reality Denial

The gasps and pants between both bodies were all that was to be heard. Several minutes of silence and breathing accompanied the two sweaty males. Shadow had draped himself along Sonic, and while the blue blur didn't might being squished into the carpet, in fact if anything, he felt it might be a turn on of his, he didn't like feeling hot and sticky.  
He huffed and wiggled out, then ran for the shower in hopes Shadow wouldn't know he was being tricked out of getting most of the hot water.  
The steam of the shower was amazing, no comparison to earlier's activities, but it still felt great upon his shoulders and body. He felt at his neck, and tugged at it, but it didn't budge or feel like it had a clip or buckle he could undo. He sighed, allowing it to stay.

Feeling alive was good. He told himself. He'd spent so long wanting to die, it only made sense that now he had a reason to live. The shampoo he blindly grabbed for smelled like watermelon and cherries, and he lathered himself up happily, sighing as warm water washed over his bitten ears and cleansed his matted stomach. 

Maybe if he told Shadow he was well and over with this now, that it had been some act of desperation and that act was over with the curtain descending? He felt like he could fight crime with a spring in his step. The male wasn't needed anymore. Yeah, he told himself, I just had a bad time, now I'm ready for life again. Come at me Egghead! He chuckled to himself as he washed it off.

"You smell good." Shadow quiped softly, stepping into the shower, the stream of warm water was cut in half as the darker male squeezed behind cobalt fur and hummed. 

All resolve that this relationship was over ended, Sonic felt drawn to Shadow, as if his life without him wouldn't be a life at all. The cocky words and jabs he'd been making in his head died on his lips and he told Shadow the shower was all his. He stepped out, only to feel hands on his hips tugging playfully at him before letting him go. Shadow was so much like him, maybe not outside, or personality-wise, but he was definitely sharing the darker thoughts and emotions more with age. He was trying to convince himself he didn't need these strings that tethered him down, but he did, oh how he did. He needed to be held down, to feel himself get trapped in a relationship was so enticing. He was a hedgehog that wanted to stay free, forever, yet here was a steel cage with a swinging door enticing him to come inside of it, stay safe, and never let him go. He wanted everything he'd never wanted in the past, and that was scary to him. This wasn't his normal, his normal had been gone from him for years now. This was the first breath of life, and it scared him. So much so he needed to go see the people that often made him feel unreal and fake, maybe they would help him feel some sense of normal. 

He found his shoes and gloves and slipped them on, shaking the last few droplets of water off his body. "I'm going to head out and see the others." He told Shadow, before the male's reply reached him he was already gone, zipping through the fields and headed down to see Amy and Tails. 

The fox and pink hedgehog spent a lot of time together ever since Sonic had been dropping out of hanging around them. The former would be tinkering while the latter would be asking him questions and inquiring about things beyond Tails' expertise. Sonic had once overheard talk of a 'love potion' just for Tails to retort that such a thing was easily made with the right pheromones and chemicals, but she would need to accept it also meant the one who drank it would lose their personality and just be a blind humping animal. Amy had been repulsed by the blunt tone Tails' voice had held, as likely the young genuis knew what intentions she had.  
Sonic came to a stop at Tails' lab. 

Amy wasn't there, but the fox was. Sonic felt stupid. He'd left during the late part of the day, Eggman was probably in the middle of a late night attack. They could be at a carnival, the park, anywhere. He was stupid and let the anger briefly rise to the surface.  
"Aw man, way to go Sonic." He scolded. "Run out on your maybe possible boyfriend, end up in your practically little brother's lab, realize you didn't even look at the clock." He could have been showering still. A nice hot steaming shower with the dark male sounded really hot right then actually. The water might not be cold if he turned around and went home now. He turned on his heels, eying one of his little buddy's latest works for a few seconds before thinking it looked absolutely amazing in a mechanical sense. He should really pay more attention to Tails' works from now on.

"Sonic?" 

He spun on his heels, seeing Amy and Tails in the doorway, both looking tired yet startled and abruptly alert at seeing him of all Mobians there. "You're looking well." Amy's voice held a sharp edge to it, Her eyes were looking him up and down now, as if she suspected he was lying about being sick, and had been lying for a long time. Her eyes seared through him. "Must have had someone taking care of you." She seemed to mouth at him. He knew she couldn't know about them yet. Them? He bit his lip. Here he was thinking of them and not him and Shadow, he was really not in the right mindset to be lying his ass off to two of his closest friends.

"I, uh, I'm. . . " He glanced around, feeling cornered. "I just came by to see how my little buddy was doing." He zipped over closer, and ruffled Tails' hair then smiled an unabashed grin at Amy who was close enough to slap him if she was truly as tired and close to screaming as she looked.

"Sonic." Tails repeated.

"I'm feeling better but I dunno if I'm ready for fighting Eggman quite yet, maybe a few more days?"

Amy latched onto him, hands feeling along his body as if to make sure he was flesh and bone and not some robot or clone among them faking at being the blue hero. She ran her hands along his arms and touched his sides in places that felt tender and made him inhale softly, Amy squinted at his neck and shoulders. "You got some bruises there looks like." Green eyes narrowed. 

"Sonic."

"Oh? I fell down the stairs." Bad lie, he snapped at himself.

"You don't have stair-"

"Sonic." Tails inhaled deeply, watching both him and Amy look to the yellow fox with rapt attention. "What's that around your neck?" 

Shit. He'd forgotten all about it. He put a hand over whatever it was, right as he felt Shadow appear behind him, likely chaos controlling his way to where he was, and smile widely. "Told you to take it off before you left, blue hedgehog." he jabbed. The surprise upon both spectator's faces filled Shadow with glee as Sonic squirmed.

Sonic glanced back, all eyes were on him, both Tails and Amy gazed, stunned. The pink hedgehog had pulled out her hammer, but at this sight before her, her tight grip was focused on Sonic's neck, not on Shadow. Shadow's still ungloved hands worked their way along blue shoulders, to the collar, and a tag glinted before green and blue eyes as the name "Sonic" was engraved on a little tag came into sight. Sonic stiffened and inhaled deeply as his friend's pupils widened at the text.

Time froze for him, his goggle-wearing little buddy was gazing into his face, looking for an answer. An answer Sonic didn't have. He couldn't tell Tails, he couldn't tell Amy. Neither of them wanted to know the truth. Least not the truth he had to tell. They all could have those dark thoughts and carry on with their day, but he, Sonic The Hedgehog was standing before them with what felt like a collar around his neck, terrible morbid ideas and images playing out in his head, and that was too much for them to know, and way too much for them to believe. Ruby red eyes narrowed in mirth, Shadow smiled at Sonic, then mouthed the words "he's mine" to the other two before he leaned against a wall, and watched things play out, for a second he looked like a massive menacing force to be reckoned with and no one dared respond to what might have been imagined. Might have been, Amy blinked, storing this into memory for later talks.

"I-I..." Sonic knew what Shadow was doing, he wasn't going to carry the male out bridal style, he wouldn't grab his hand and lead him out the door. Sonic decided if he stayed or went, he didn't need Shadow to help him segue his way out of the embarrassing situation. He straightened up. "I'm working through some things, I'd like it if... if you can just leave me alone for a week!"  
The words felt amazing to say, finally he was telling them he wanted time to himself without an excuse. They were blunt, edged, and sliced through some of the tension like a sword.

Amy tensed, but didn't get to reply, Tails did it for her. "Mind if we still visit?"

"S-sure. I just," he shot Shadow a look, one that got nothing but a knowing smile. "I just need some time to myself I'm tired-" butterflies filled his gut, he was speaking his mind and it felt better. "I'm tired of always being a hero, I need a break too!" 

Try as he might, Sonic couldn't muster up the courage to stay, he was bolder, but still not okay with his emotions. He ran, right back home, and curled up on his bed, scolding himself as he wrapped blankets and pillows around himself. He had to be better with these things! He'd have just ran if Shadow had not been there. He was such a mess. He had almost been tempted to let everything within him out. All those dark thoughts and dark angry words, they'd never look at him the same if they knew!

Sonic inhaled, breathing slowing as he focused on better thoughts and tried to relax. Sleep sounded good right then. He should sleep. He had done his best to speak his mind and be honest more, with both himself, and with them. He deserved a nap.  
Dark hands patted him, saying nothing, Shadow loomed over the writhing male, his red eyes twinkling like sequins as the remaining light of the sun setting slid across his face.


	7. Massage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to title this Massage in a bottle just to make some people mad.

Half the day passed slowly, and as noon hit, Sonic realized he'd done very little but sleep. The warm embrace of Shadow soothed him, and he found himself contemplating things. 

It wasn't long before ruby eyes bored into the back of his head in silence, or ungloved hands slid along his back and worked their way between his quills to gently massage his spine. He was tempted to glance back, meet Shadow's gaze, and speak his troubled mind, but didn't, he eased into the massage. This was okay. This was very nice, better than okay, actually.

Each slow motion of Shadow's hands and fingers was amazing, it was like he was slowly kneaded and being pieced back together in ways he hadn't felt for a long time. His back popped as the pressure increased and knots were worked from his sides. "You know, I don't think I've ever had a massage like this before." He blinked. "Or ever."  
He'd never slowed down for stuff like massages, vacations, and the like, so this feeling was all too new to him. Aside from forced efforts to help him feel better, he'd never once laid down and just relaxed so much until now.

"As usual, you never take care of yourself unless someone makes you." His fingers pushed against tension, earning a peal of inhaled gasps from the cobalt hero as he massaged the knotted muscles along the male's back. For someone so often in action, Sonic's back was a mess, it was amazing he could spin dash and stretch so much yet not feel how much distress his back was in. A loud crack followed by Sonic moaning and arching. Shadow felt along the muscles. "Your back is looking much better already."

Sonic would definitely agree, he felt great, everything cracked and popped as he gave a great stretch and rolled over to nuzzle Shadow affectionately. "How sweet of you, faker." He teased.

"Can it, blue hedgehog, I just felt like playing with your quills and you happened to have a lot of tension and knots on your back."

Sonic's lips pursed as he gave a cocky grin. "The great ultimate lifeform Shadow, playing with my quills."

The ebony male gave a playful smack onto Sonic's rear, which made said blue blur gasp and his eyes go wide. "Ah, easy there buddy, don't want to leave a mark." His voice managed not to shake as he replied only to get another smack followed by a gentle squeeze. 

"You're a tease." Shadow breathed, kissing the male, it was anything but sweet and gentle, and Sonic gulped and swallowed as he tried to match the fervent animal-like kiss. He didn't know if Shadow was just an amazing kisser or if this was the only way the male knew how to make out with him. Every kiss from Shadow was a fight between their mouths, each one made Sonic have to squirm and handle such strength in something most people saw as delicate and sweet.

"Mph, Shadow."

The kisses felt like yesterdays, and Sonic tried not to react externally as intrusive thoughts began to pry and poke at him. He had the distinct thought of: where do we go from here? What was his and Shadow's relationship going to grow into? Could it grow at all? Did he rush into things? He'd thought all this yesterday and been proved wrong, yet the thoughts kept coming, doubts and questions. The darkness pushed at the edges of his mind. If I died right now, would he care?

Hands grabbed his length, which had sprung to life during all these thoughts. Sonic moaned and tilted his head back, receiving neck kisses along his throat. "You looked off in your head again, hedgehog." Shadow was squeezing his balls, smooth fingers teasing him.

"I-I just..." He scrunched his green eyes up and tried to formulate the words as his family jewels were rolled and kneaded and the pleasure made him hum in delight. "Where do we go from here?"

Shadow paused. Had he heard a laugh just then? Shadow was laughing at him? Why? "We're the fastest things alive, and you're talking about where do we go. I didn't fuck you stupid, did I?"

Heat rose to his cheeks. "I mean relationship wise, Shadow." The laugh was dead now, Shadow was no longer touching him, red eyes stared off in thought. "Shadow?" The lifeform tilted his head and looked towards the window, out of it. He realized that maybe Shadow didn't know which direction they were headed either. If so, he couldn't answer the question. "Not to pressure you." Was this really how shit he was at conversations? Why did Amy and Tails like talking to him again?

"Look, blue hedgehog." 

"I'd actually like if you called me other things than our old faker and blue hedgehog jabs from when we were trying to kill each other." A hand was on his throat, he craned his head back, emerald green meeting ruby red. "It's just a preference." Hands raised in a cheeky shrug.

"Look..." The ebony male's face became contemplating. "Look, Sonic." No reaction, Shadow seemed to be going through different names and terms he could call him. "Bitch." Shivers ran down the blue male's spine, he was tilted backwards, rolled onto his back, and Shadow leaned over him, threateningly. Whatever it was still left on his neck -why hadn't Shadow removed it yet?- was tugged on. "I don't know where our relationship is headed."

"D-doesn't that scare you at all?"

"No."

"Why doesn't it scare you?" He was ridgid now, unnerved by the stare he got, unnerved by everything. "When you first, when we first- I was depressed and begging you to kill me, and I felt like shit, had been for months. Yet you're not worried about where all of this is headed. We could end up killing each other, or I coul-" Sonic froze in his tracks, words bubbling into nothing as he shut off the tangent he was almost going down. "I could go bad."  
He knew he could. It had been eating at him for months, all these dark thoughts and negative emotions. He could easily go bad, and then take everyone down with him when he fell off the pedestal they'd all put him atop. 

Shadow gave a big shrug, staring off. "Thought you wanted to die." A small smirk crossed his mouth. 

A chill ran along the blue male's spine. Did Shadow see through everything? "I did, but I've changed my mind on dying. I think I'm more into near death things. . .like that kink list."

The smirk increased in size, but Shadow did not look his way. "So you want to live then, what's wrong with that?"

"I-" His eyes shut and he groaned inward. "I think about retiring."

Silence. Crippling silence. Shadow wasn't replying yet, but he was stroking his chin. Sonic leaned to see the male's expression. Shadow looked only slightly surprised, he seemed to be considering what all that would mean.

"So, you don't want to be a hero?"

"Yes, well, no. What I mean is, uh." He sighed. "I don't want to be full time hero, I can't. It's weighing on my mind, all these failures and all these moments I was just a second too late. One. Second. Too. Late." 

"So you're scared?"

"Terribly scared, I've been scared all my life, I just hide it with confidence. It's been almost ten years, Shadow. Ten years!" He couldn't emphasize the duration of time well enough. "We're older," Shadow shot him a look, having not changed at all beside getting stronger, "I'm older!"

"I already knew all of this." 

"That's not all- wait, what?"

"I've always known your next move, your darker side, you really think I just rolled with you staining my fur as I began to choke you out?" He rolled his eyes. "I didn't come over just because Amy and Tails had asked me to, I came over because you've been acting weird and they only realized it now. I've seen you acting weird for months, you began actually having conversations with Robotnik more than fighting him. I could tell you were getting tired of things when you showed up less and less." Sonic felt a bit hurt. "Look, I'd have ignored it all, but Rouge of all people got a bug up her ass from G.U.N to spy on you more, in case you might turn threat."

"And?"

"She botched any proof and decided to engage me in conversation about you. Said you were on a dark path." 

The blue blur darted to the fridge and got himself a drink before sitting back down. "How long ago was this? Sounds recent."

"Five months ago, I ignored it until your annoying girlfriend-wannabe wouldn't leave me alone." Shadow glanced sideways at him. "If she wasn't so after you, she'd probably be into me by now, thanks for keeping her at bay." 

"What exactly does that mean?"

Shadow hugged him and grinned widely. "You know you're still wearing a collar, right?"

"It's an actual collar? You let my best friends... they saw me in a dog collar?!" His pitch was raising. "Sh-Shadow why would you-" A strong kiss cut him off. 

"I think you think too much, and whine too much, and you worry too much." Shadow tugged the collar again. "I told you to take the collar off, but old habits show you run off and don't listen enough. You sure you know what you want in life?"

Back arching into the touches along his hips, Sonic groaned out and bucked into Shadow's hands. He wanted things but at the same time, he didn't want things. Everything seemed like it needed to be decided now, but they didn't. "N-No. I think I do, but everything keeps changing in my mind. I just want someone else to... to." He inhaled deeply. "I want someone else to decide how things go for me, I'm tired of all this freedom and panic inside of me." Hands wrapped around his neck, he moaned into the black male's grasp as he was lightly rubbed against. "I think all I want to decide from now on is what we do in bed."  
He moaned into the kiss, fingers tightening around his throat. "Yes, more."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy reading. Any fanwork at all please tag as 'rectifiedpear' so I can find it in tags.


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